Eternal Adoptions

Congrats to Ryan & Crystal

Eternal Adoptions — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 03:20:32 +0000

“Thanks to Eternal Adoptions, we have a beautiful baby girl. They were there for us during the process for moral support and we are very thankful for all they have done for us. Our son is so excited to be a big brother. Thank you Eternal Adoptions for what you do for Adoptive Families and Birth Families.”

–Crystal and Ryan

Share your Adoption Story

Eternal Adoptions — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 20:52:02 +0000

No two stories are alike. Whatever your story, it is worth sharing. You never know how you can be adding to someone’s life by simply showing them they aren’t the only ones… Whether they’re adopting, placing, searching, reuniting, or just coming to terms with their own situation. In the world of adoption, everyone has a story and we can all benefit from others’ experiences!

What’s Best For My Baby

Eternal Adoptions — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 15:43:52 +0000

I was unmarried and pregnant. The baby’s father wanted nothing to do with us. Where could I turn? What should I do?

I looked down at my swollen stomach and began to cry. The child inside me was wide awake, kicking, punching, and doing somersaults. These last nine months had been the longest and hardest of my life, and I feared the worst was yet to come. I slowly got up from the kneeling position I had been in for the last hour. It was a position I had grown very used to. At times it seemed the only reason I made it through the day was the comfort I felt when I prayed.

I sat on my bed and looked at the clock. It was already 3:45 in the morning. My doctor’s appointment was at 6:30, which meant I only had a few more hours before I went in and gave birth to my first child. My due date had passed a week earlier, and the doctor wanted to induce labor before the baby got any bigger. That idea suited me because I was very ready to welcome Elizabeth* into the world. I had dreamed for so many nights of seeing her and holding her.

I was only 16 when I got pregnant. The father didn’t want anything to do with me or the baby. I had never felt so alone in my life. The worst part of all was that I had run away from home the month before I found out I was pregnant, and my lifestyle was less than perfect.

Not only did I feel I didn’t have support from my parents, but I felt I couldn’t even turn to the Lord. I finally did go home only to find my parents loved me more than ever and wanted nothing but the best for my baby and me.

I turned 17 while I was pregnant, and I began working with my bishop so I could take the sacrament again and get my much-anticipated patriarchal blessing. I felt I was doing well and making good decisions for myself, but there was that constant, recurring question of what would be best for my baby.

I knew I wanted her to have a mother and a father, and to be sealed to them for eternity in the temple. I knew the only way to give her everything she needed and deserved was to find a good family and place her for adoption. My bishop told me about LDS Family Services.

I went in and talked to a worker who had me fill out a wish list, where I would select the type of home and family I wanted Elizabeth to grow up in. My worker soon found lots of families that matched the one I had described. I then began the search for my baby’s parents. I started looking at pictures and reading letters from couples who couldn’t have children. There were so many, and every one of their stories broke my heart. But who were the right parents for my baby?

I looked for five months and didn’t feel any special feelings for any of the couples. In my seventh month, I read the letter from John and Jill and I started to cry. The Spirit touched me, and I just knew this was where Elizabeth belonged.

I lay my head on my pillow as I remembered the last nine months of my life. It seemed as if I had gone on an emotional roller coaster. I closed my eyes and prayed I would have the strength necessary to get through the next couple of days.

I got up at 6:00 A.M. and got ready to go to the hospital. My family was there to see my mother and me off, and my father gave me the most beautiful blessing I had ever received. We said good-bye and walked out the door. I knew my life would soon be forever changed.

On the way to the hospital, I had an overwhelming sense of peace. I was calm and relaxed. I knew the Spirit was with me.

At the hospital, my mother was right by my side getting me ice chips, playing card games with me, and rubbing the cramps out of my feet and legs. The contractions began, and I prayed it would all be over soon. At 3:33 P.M., Elizabeth Jane was born, and she immediately began to cry.

So did I.

A few minutes later, Elizabeth was in a blanket in my arms. I had never felt so much love, joy, and sadness. I knew this was a time to say hello, and the beginning of a time to say good-bye. She looked right into my eyes and for a second went a little cross-eyed. She was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. She was perfect.

It was such a wonderful feeling to be looking into this precious little girl’s face, my little girl’s face. She looked like a tiny angel, so beautiful and innocent. I knew she deserved the best in life.

The day of her placement I got Elizabeth ready. I put lotion on her, changed her diaper, and dressed her in a pink dress and booties. She was ready to be united with her family.

As we drove to the agency, I studied her face and cried. I wished I could spend more time with her. I feared I would forget how her face looked. I studied her lips and tiny tongue. I touched her nose, I kissed her smooth, chubby cheeks, and I stroked her beautiful, soft hair. I smelled her perfect baby smell and wished I could put that smell in a box and keep it.

When we got to the agency, I picked Elizabeth up. Everyone left me alone to say good-bye to my daughter. I looked into her eyes. I told her I loved her and I’d miss her but I knew I was doing the right thing. I kissed her a million times and took a deep breath as I twisted the knob on the door.

Tears showered my face as I walked to the couple, the parents I’d chosen for her. My lips quivered and my hands shook as I placed her in their arms. The emotions I felt were so intense, like none I’d felt before. Inside I just went back and forth, battling how I felt. Was I doing the right thing? Could they love her as much as I did? Then I looked at them. Their happiness was so sincere; their love was pure and true. This was my baby’s family. I just knew.

The ride home was hard. I had never felt so much emptiness and heartache in my life. I cried, but I only cried for my sake; for Elizabeth I knew everything was how it should be. I didn’t know how I had the strength to do what I had just done. I knew Heavenly Father had helped me every step of the way. As I tried to understand my feelings, I thought I understood much better how much Heavenly Father loved His Son, Jesus Christ.

I love Elizabeth so much. She came to me at a time in my life when I had no direction and was spiritually dead. I know this experience helped save me from that lifestyle.

I have learned so much through all of this. I have gained a greater knowledge of how much my parents love me and how much my Heavenly Father loves me. I have learned how to make decisions through the power of the Holy Ghost. I have also gained a testimony of the gospel, and especially of the Atonement.

Although my love for Elizabeth is strong, I had to put my own feelings aside and focus on her feelings and future. She deserves so much more than the life I could give her. I know I’ll miss her, and sometimes I’ll cry. I’ll remember those few days we spent together before we said good-bye. But I’ll have peace and comfort when I think of her because I’ll always know I did what was best.

Name Witheld

“What’s Best for My Baby?” New Era, Nov. 2001, 41

Why Birth Mothers Deserve our Respect

Eternal Adoptions — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 19:00:14 +0000

When I gave birth to my son two years ago, I was stunned by the depth of my feelings—not the love, I expected that. It was the sense that the life of this baby was now more important than my own. I would fight a mountain lion or step in front of a truck to protect him. I would even, if I had to, send him to my parents to live, if my husband and I could no longer provide the best care for him. That doesn’t make me special—it just means I’m a mother, same as hundreds of millions of other women. No matter whether it’s staying home, going to work, raising their kids alone or choosing to leave their children in order to provide for them, there is nothing most of us would not do to ensure our childrens’ safety. And, for some Moms, giving their children the best chance at a good life means making the most excruciating sacrifice of all: placing them up for adoption.

We hear a lot about adoption, but usually only when things go wrong or a celebrity is involved. We talk plenty about the kids themselves and the selfless families taking them in—whether they’re fictional scenarios like the adoption storyline on Glee, or all-too-real news footage from Haiti, Ethiopia, or China. But our culture still seems to show so little respect and support for the women who choose adoption in the face of an unexpected pregnancy. Rarely do we focus, in a positive way, on the birth mothers, aside from picking the most relevant stereotyped assumptions: “Pregnant teen, crack addict, prostitute, trash, etc.”

For the better part of the 20th century, adoption was seen as exploitative and cruel to birth mothers. Since single motherhood and abortion were not readily accepted options, women and girls were often forced by their families into hasty marriages or hustled into homes where their babies were taken without their informed consent. But now adoption has come out of hiding—indeed, both domestic and international adoptions have become increasingly common. One would think that women or teenage girls would be able to explore this option free of the guilt and shame. But as Amy Benfer wrote last month at Salon.com when discussing the reaction to notable on-screen pregnancies: “By the end of 2008, you could be forgiven for believing there was absolutely no way to portray a young unmarried woman who happened to be pregnant in a responsible manner: Juno was too smart, funny and likable; Katherine Heigl in ‘Knocked Up’ was too pretty and too happy; the Gloucester girls were too poor and too dumb; Jamie Lynn Spears was too rich and too dumb; Bristol Palin was too privileged and too Republican. When MTV came out with ‘16 and Pregnant’ in the summer of 2009, it was more of the same: the girls were too trashy or too popular; bad mothers for dropping out of school, or unrealistic role models for other, less privileged girls, should they continue with school.”

For Elizabeth Bartholet, professor of law and faculty director of the Child Advocacy Program at the Harvard Law School, society’s distrust of birth mothers reveals our enduring bias for biological families. “It is very deeply ingrained in our society that all kids belong where they came from, it’s unnatural to give them up. So we stigmatize surrendering the child … but most young unmarried women who give birth are not in a good position to raise their child. What if we allowed people to think it’s also natural to give their children to somebody else to raise?” Don’t believe that we’re so biased against birth moms? Do a little thought experiment with me—imagine it’s the 2008 presidential race all over again. What do you think the response would have been if Bristol Palin had announced she was having her baby but placing it for adoption? Something tells me she wouldn’t have been hailed as a real-life Juno but as a selfish promiscuous tart who doesn’t care about her baby.

To me, it also indicates a strain of our culture that is not yet ready to accept that a mother’s love might dictate placing her child with somebody else to raise and instead dismisses her as unnatural. As Adam Pertman, executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute explained to me, “Our society has lifted much of the stigma of single motherhood, but still finds it difficult to support a woman who is, as they see it, abandoning her child. These women are told: ‘How can you possibly give up your child? What kind of person could do that?’ So while adoption is listed as viable option, it’s a choice that’s rarely made.” Indeed, the number of newborn babies available for adoption has remained flat for almost two decades while the number of unmarried women having children has soared.

What if we stopped pretending we lived in a world where the traditional nuclear family is the norm and accepted birth mothers into the fold of family life? We’ve certainly managed to do that in the world of reproductive medicine where we welcome offspring as biological even if the child was the product of donated sperm and egg. And we’ve somehow managed to accept a bewildering array of familial choices from multiple stepparents, two moms, or a single grandparent. But, thanks to society’s misgivings and misconceptions about adoption, birth mothers are damned if they do and damned if they don’t. By indicating that placing a child for adoption is a selfish or painless choice when it’s not, or talking about birth mothers as if they were all crack-addled prostitutes or at the very least wayward youth, we not only limit a woman’s right to choose but also shut out the possibility that there are other people out there who would love to adopt. Why not try respecting these women as mothers able to make the best decision for themselves and their pregnancies—even if that decision is not to parent?

To see the full article click the link below:

http://www.newsweek.com/2010/05/20/birth-moms-deserve-our-respect.html

Simple Guidelines to avoid Scams

Eternal Adoptions — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 18:49:08 +0000

To avoid scams follow some simple guidelines. NEVER give money directly to a birth mother. Any kind of expense reimbursement should be channeled through an attorney or an agency. Laws exist to protect her privacy and yours, so claiming that she “doesn’t want anyone to know” is probably because the obscurity the scammer can create, the easier it will be to take advantage of he prospective parents. Be wary of anyone who refuses to provide basic information such as proof of pregnancy or contact information.

Think with your Head not with your Heart

Eternal Adoptions — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 18:42:44 +0000

People who want to adopt often think with their hearts instead of their heads. They yearn so badly for a child that they tend to overlook the warning signs of a possible scam. Although adoption is atransaction of the heart, it is also very much a transaction of the pocketbook,and people need to use wise business sense when investigating adoption, just asthey would in any situation where they’re spending thousands of dollars.

On the whole, people who respond to the family profilesposted on websites are decent, honest people. But unfortunately, there arethose who willingly prey on the emotions of desperate couples in exchange for aquick buck (or a quick couple hundred bucks).

I can’t stress enough the importance of asking resource people for references. Join adoption discussion groups (both online and inperson) and pepper the participants with questions. When you’ve narrowed yourchoice of adoption professionals down to your top three, ask the agency orfacilitator to send references from people who have recently adopted. Then contact those people and ask hard questions.

Keep in mind that one person may have a horrible experiencewith an adoption professional while another may have a perfectly delightfulone. That’s because adoption professionals are so relational-based. Keep askingquestions of clients and former clients until you are ready to choose aprofessional who you feel confident of and comfortable working with. After all,the future of your family rests in these people’s hands!

Connecting Familes

Eternal Adoptions — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 19:52:01 +0000

The purpose of our non-profit organization is to connect families. We are dedicated to providing assistance to birth mothers to help them with the difficult decisions they are faced with. We want to provide wonderful opportunities as well as loving and nurturing family relationships for each adopted child. Call us Toll-Free 866-912-9890.

Need help with an unplanned pregnancy?

Eternal Adoptions — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:47:24 +0000

We’re here for birth mothers in crisis or unplanned pregnancy situations to help them make informed decisions about parenting or placing their baby for adoption. Through past experience we can support birth mothers in any situation. If you are seeking help, please contact us today. We know that unplanned pregnancies can be very stressful. Call us toll-free at 866-912-9890 or fill out the contact form on this page.

Pregnancy Calculator

Find due date and conception date here.

Adoption Resources

www.itsaboutlove.org – LDS Family Services

Articles For Birthmothers
“Could I Let My Baby Go”
“My Decision”
“Guidance for Unwed Parents”
“What’s Best For My Baby”
“From Tragedy to Hope: Helping Unwed Parents”
“When You Need Help”

Adoption & Abortion Video

Eternal Adoptions — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 18:40:07 +0000

Member Services 3

Eternal Adoptions — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 22:44:14 +0000