Share your Adoption Story
1:52 pm in Adoption Blog by Eternal Adoptions
No two stories are alike. Whatever your story, it is worth sharing. You never know how you can be adding to someone’s life by simply showing them they aren’t the only ones… Whether they’re adopting, placing, searching, reuniting, or just coming to terms with their own situation. In the world of adoption, everyone has a story and we can all benefit from others’ experiences!
I am a woman that became pregnant when I was only 15. I chose to give my child, my son, up for adoption. I wanted him to have the kind of life I could not give him. I have an open adoption. I chose the parents that woulod raise my child. I get pictures every year on his birthday. My son will be 18 on 2/10/11. He has grown into an awesome young man. He makes me proud every single day. I hope that he will want to meet me, but I would never push it on him. Because I too was adopted as an infant, I know how special it is when you find your birth-mom. I have met my birth-mom, but she will never be my Mom. My Mom was the woman who raised me, tucked me into bed at night, took care of me when I was sick, she was the woman who held my hand the day I gave my child to his new parents. I will never regret my choice of adoption! It was the best thing for all of us!
It was in April of 2000 that my journey to finding Christ really began. During this time I was 19 years old and living a life of recklessness, self destruction, promiscuity, and an existence that to me was of little value. I didn’t like myself and I was lost. It’s strange though…I had no excuse for becoming this person. I was raised in the western suburbs of Minneapolis, three siblings, a mom and a dad. I was taught early on in life who Jesus Christ was, and what he should mean to me. I was a privileged child and I had been given all the opportunities in life that one should need to really make something of myself. Despite my proper upbringing and my years of church camps and Sunday school, I still found myself, 19 years into my life, to be angry, bitter, alone, frightened and pregnant. It was only a matter of seconds for me to go from being a teenager that thought she knew everything, to a teenager who realized she knew nothing. It was a series of bad choices that led me to my own demise, and it was nothing short of pure devastation the day that I discovered I was indeed pregnant. Some time passed and I recall another series of choices that I made…but rather then leading me to further self-sabotage, this time they led me closer to my ultimate freedom in Christ. It started with my first choice…the choice of life. Perhaps the means to which I found myself pregnant was gruesome, it didn’t change the undeniable fact that this was a living thing…this was my child. My next choice was to tell my parents of whom I greatly underestimated. My mother…she knows better then anyone what I went through. I chose to go back to school and continue my education. I chose to go to counseling; I chose to journal, and most of all I chose to listen. I recall being so quiet back then…I wanted to hear things more clearly….almost as though I was student of life. I was desperate to learn all of the things that I missed out on when I decided to stop listening as I approached my rebellious teenage years. As I listened, I heard God calling me. I remember so well how it felt to walk this Earth with my mistake not very well hidden under my shirt like a huge flashing sign “KNOCKED UP”. I remember feeling that despite how judged I felt, how humiliated I was, how alienated I had become…regardless of how difficult it was for me to go through that pain, I knew with much certainty that I was doing the right thing. My mom always said generally if it’s the harder way to go, it’s the right way to go. That was when I came to my most difficult decision of all. Around my 7th month of pregnancy, I chose to place my son for open adoption with a family that could not conceive children of their own. I knew that regardless of how consumed I was with this overwhelming, uncontrollable, intense love that I felt for this child, I could not give him the life that he deserved. Despite my instincts telling me to keep him, I couldn’t ignore how selfish that would be. I chose what was best for my child regardless of how much it hurt me. Isn’t that the definition of a parent? We do whatever we have to for our children no matter how much it hurts us? Undeniably the saddest of sad that I have ever felt in my whole life was the day he went home with his new family. It was like a death, and it left my heart broken in a way that I had never known before. But through this family and through this deep pain, I came to know Christ in a way that I never known before. This was the choice that changed my name forever. It was through this little child within me that I learned of becoming child of God. I learned what it meant to put my faith and trust in the Lord with every fiber of my being. This little baby helped me to learn of forgiveness…not only how to ask for it, but also how to receive it. I was so broken and so fragile, but Christ lifted me up from my despair and brought me to life again! He gave me new eyes to see Him with, and new ears to hear Him with.
The pain that I felt following the adoption was deep, it was raw, it was real, and it wasn’t going to go away quickly. It took many years for me to heal from the events that took place in 2000. However, it was with my true understanding of Christ’s love for me that I was able to see His great plan for my life. Lewis Elliott is 9 years old now and is doing wonderful. He has outstanding parents, a big sister, a cat, a dog, a backyard, a home. Most of all he has a life that is blessed with Christ’s abounding love. I get to see him once a year, and get pictures and letters with updates of his latest achievements. I have since married a wonderful man with whom I have two beautiful boys of my own. My purpose is many things in this life…however I am most proud of my purpose as a birthmother. God has called on me to share my story speaking on panels with Bethany Christian Adoption Services. He has called on me to mentor other birthmothers that are either pregnant or just placed their child. He has called on me to use my story to educate adoptive couples on how to minister to vulnerable birthmothers so desperately seeking Gods love. But if nothing else? He has called me to share my story by whatever means necessary in order to prevent any single abortion that may have occurred otherwise. I am here because Christ led me to this place. I find peace in the very center of knowing that He has seen to every detail and arranged every circumstance to bring to pass what His ultimate plan is for my life. I am alive, and I am well…and the happiness in my life is because of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and that is my story.
Here is a song that the adoptive father wrote for me a few months back…it was such a gift. He wrote it for me…but he wrote it for all birthmoms alike.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBhetR7iHzI
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